100wc week#19

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The Bug 

          Preparing a picnic in the kitchen for picnic for my sister and I, Suddenly, I heard a scream coming from the backyard. I rushed outside, my sister was curled up on the blanket. "What happened." I asked.
" i-i-it came down the drainpipe."she whimpered.
"What did."
"That" I looked down and in surprise, I saw a huge cockroach, Suddenly it disappeared. "Where did it go." I asked. 
"I don't know." she muttered.
"There it is." 
"Ahhh" she screamed "Don't touch it."
"Why not" I wondered and as I brushed my fingers my along its back I knew I had made an mistake.

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 10, 2018 at 10:35 AM

    I like your choice of words instead of said. You have repeated picnic twice in your opening sentences. Suddenly doesn't need to be capitalized in the middle of a sentence. Check over end punctuation after someone speaks.

    ReplyDelete

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